Politics



Senate Republicans Push New Legislation to the Floor: “Keep Our Women and Men Safe”

by ELIZABETH BERNBAUM

In the wake of Brett Kavanaugh’s tumultuous and painful confirmation hearings, Senate Republicans determined that they would allow the Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act expire this year. In its place, the majority, led by Orrin Hatch (R-UT) pushed to the floor new legislation entitled “Keep Our Women and Men Safe.”...


Arts & Culture


The Daily Horoscope

by NORA FOSSENIER

Aries – Science tells us that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. This means that the next time someone mocks you for getting a 2.1 in Physics 121, you get to punch them in the nuts....


Audiences Criticize New Film About Genocide for Being "Depressing"

by ARMON MAHDAVI

“Tears That Never Dry,” the new film by Cannes award-winning director Jean-Luc Bergman, has faced significant controversy after its limited release on Nov. 10. The film, which chronicles a family’s experience during the mass killings that took place in Kazakhstan in the 1930s, has been described by audiences as “a real downer.”...


Local


Dusty and Erect Access Students Flood History Lectures

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by RUBY HARLIN

This Fall quarter, UW students have been terrorized by utter frustration brought on by an influx of elderly men in their history lectures. Lectures typically reserved for sleeping in the back are now chock-full of erect and attentive students, ages 65-80....


Infinite Timeline

A collaborative story produced by readers like you.

There once was a fish

with a name that's quite hard to pronounce given that it belongs to another language and all, but for our purposes, we'll call him Alvin.

The one and only fact that Alvin knew with certainty: he hated every part of his Neptune-damned life.

Alvin was a very intelligent fish, at least by fish standards (and his own). As such, he spent most of his time correcting people's OBVIOUS grammar mistakes on their social media posts.

Unfortunately, this activity tended to make Alvin quite angry and miserable, but ever since he had been laid off from his job as editor of the local newspaper he had been unable to think of a better way to spend his time.

Alvin grew weary by the day. He found salvation and creative expression when he learned to play the conch with a local surf rock band. They smoked a lot of seaweed and experienced great success... until news surfaced about their bassist, a racist bass.


Ducks Brace, Knowing Naked People are About to Run Through Their Home

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by ELIZABETH BERNBAUM

Every two years, the ducks of Drumheller Fountain prepare for its biennial cleaning and their biennial nightmare. While some in the duck community tolerate the ritual removal of their excrement and subsequent mob of nude students entering their home uninvited, most really don’t....