2019’s Top Buildings for Boinking
by THE EDITORIAL BOARD
Published: March 30, 2019
Courtesy of Elizabeth Bernbaum
Feeling frisky? Reference this obviously non-exhaustive e-guide for the best and worst campus locations to do the hanky panky.
Top Tier Shit
These buildings are impeccably out-of-the-way, experience little traffic, and have rooms with few to no windows.
- Fishery Sciences
- Ceramic and Metal Arts
- Hughes Penthouse Theatre
It’s Better Than a Lot of Other Places, Okay?
We wouldn’t seek out these buildings, but they’re not bad options for the bold soul. Many are somewhat central (a real negative), and those which are not experience significant foot traffic (also a negative). All the same, these buildings are either generally quiet and with nooks and crannies overlooked enough to serve as viable options for some nookie, or as is the case with the IMA, they have spaces where inconspicuousness is a nonissue. Locker room showers, for instance, can be a good option during the midday slog or following the dinnertime bustle.
- Bathrooms in Mary Gates Hall
- Suzzallo Library
What the fuck are you doing considering these places? Jesus Christ, half of these structures are practically transparent, they’ve got so much glass in them. Unless you want that? Charges could be brought against you for that kind of thing. This article is not directed at the exhibitionist reader (although it is not a condemnation of exhibitionism either), so we officially suggest caution in these buildings. Watch it.
- Suzzallo Reading Room
- Odegaard Library
- Electrical Engineering Building
- Savery Hall