Info Wars: An Obituary

Published: October 6, 2018
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Created by Isabel Campisteguy, Courtesy of

After Youtube, Apple, Facebook, and Twitter steadily removed Alex Jones and his wildly entertaining and somewhat nauseating show, Info Wars, from their respective platforms, consumers in search of their morning juicing have been left in the dark. Some have turned to Google Image searches of Steve Bannon licking his lips in concern, while others have found comfort in audio clips of large, broken, rusting machinery**.

Many now worry that Jones will run out of money to continue his online store and wonder where they’ll get their steady supply of ultimate-value vitamins, emergency survival foods, and low-end gun holsters. Without a central source to buy essential apocalypse-preparedness products, Jones followers and non-followers who “don’t like Jones but definitely think he’s right about some stuff” have been uprooted from their community and left questioning the protection of their traditional ways life.

Longtime Jones fan, Durk Finglemore is one of the lost souls who’s been sent reeling after what he calls, “the injustice of Jones’s political assassination and the emergence of a new age of ideological servitude.” Finglemore has distinct worries about his future. He says, “I depend on Alex. He’s got integrity and pride. He’s not afraid to speak the truth, and he’s got the intensity that gets me up and amped in the morning. When his neck vein bulges, so does my heart. Where will I buy my Brain Force Plus pills or SuperSilver Wound Dressing Gel without Alex? I’ll be walking around vulnerable and with a plummeting IQ because the corrupt fake news media doesn't believe in freedom or patriotism. I’ll keep buying Alex’s real American goods as long as I can — I just bought a CNN Terrorist Poster Shirt yesterday — but I’m still terrified that one day, I'll wake up, and there'll be nothing but Whole Foods commercials and storyboard podcasts playin’ on my browser.”

Whether or not Finglemore’s worries will come to fruition remains to be seen.