American Considers Himself “Globe Trotter” After Visiting New York, Houston, and Seattle Over the Summer

Published: October 12, 2018
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Created by Kevin Gladwell, Courtesy of Tim Adams and Darwinik via Wikimedia Commons and mmi9 via PixaBay

SEATTLE – After visiting three US states over the summer, American student Jordan Stanford has changed his Instagram bio to “Globe Trotter.”

“I always tell people: You don’t truly know yourself if you haven’t traveled,” the 21-year-old shared with reporters from The Fishwrapper, unsolicited. “I used to have people tell me that I was just another ignorant American-centric white boy. But now that I’ve seen both a Bible Belt state and left-wing Seattle, I feel like I have gained a deep understanding of what the world is all about.”

In memory of his adventures abroad, the business student has turned his Instagram profile into a travel blog and has spent three hours in Pottery Barn to pick out the most urban-looking “Live, Love, Laugh” sign for his dorm room, explaining: “It is the traveller who truly gets the message behind this sign.”

In a recent blog post about the Houston Zoo, Stanford, who occasionally refers to himself as a “real-life Bilbo Baggins”, stated: “There is something so incomparably raw and beautiful about diving into a new culture, a new part of the world.”

After a foreign exchange student reminded the blogger that Houston and Seattle are both located in the US and thus can’t really be considered the whole of the world, Stanford recorded a series of Instagram stories, in which he defended himself against “all the haters out there”:

“Saying that Houston and Seattle are not the two cultural extremes of our world is ridiculous,” Stanford argued. “After all, they don’t offer Pike Place coffee in a Texan Starbucks, do they?”