Breaking: 6-Year-Old Majority Leader Mitch McConnell Has Plugged His Ears and Won’t Stop Saying “I Can’t Hear You”

Published: March 3, 2018
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Created by Isabel Campisteguy, Courtesy of Gage Skidmore via Flickr

“I can’t hear you, la la la la la,” Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell repeated for the sixth time on Thursday after the entire nation and Congressional body told him that they wanted gun regulations. McConnell then reportedly hid under a desk in the Old Senate Chamber until the Senate adjourned at 4:57 p.m., at which point Assistant Majority Leader John Cornyn coaxed McConnell to crawl out after negotiations ending in the promise of a cookie and extending bedtime by 30 minutes. “He’s had a big day,” Cornyn stated. “He gets grouchy without his 2 o’clock nap, which he had to skip today because the Democrats were being too noisy in the other room. We’ll try again on Monday.”