Breaking: Death of 50 Palestinian Protesters is the Featured Component of Netanyahu’s “Love Collage,” a Romantic Gift to his Beau, Trump

Published: May 16, 2018
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Created by Isabel Campisteguy, Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons and Gage Skidmore via Flickr

In a touching gesture to boyfriend American President Donald Trump, Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu delicately pieced together Israeli emulations of rhetoric and action from decades of infamous American doctrine into a “Love Collage.” Most prominently featured in the collage is the recent death of 50 brown men peacefully protesting against unjust political circumstance.

“This one is a throwback to the 1919 Arkansas massacre, where 100 black American men were killed for unionizing and attempting to gain land rights. But, I also think it elegantly echoes police brutality and the American criminal justice system at large, you see?” said Netanyahu during an interview with The Fishwrapper, referencing the centerpiece, the death of the Palestinian protesters. “When I’m not sure how to carry on politically, I look to America for inspiration. I wanted my boo to know that. He and his style have had such an impact on me.”

“I will not negotiate with terrorists” is another of Netanyahu’s favorite details in the collage: “I love the freedom that this word — “terrorist” — grants me. I use my license as an artist to invoke it at times when it will be most grabbing for my audience. It doesn’t really matter whether they’re actual terrorists or not — just saying the word gives people a thrill. And, that’s what it’s all about. A true artist creates a new reality for his fans, his constituency. It’s one of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned from American politics.”

The quote is from an interview following Monday’s massacre of peaceful protestors. The prime minister explained that the protesters were, indeed, terrorists, and as the leader of a strong moral state committed to the integrity of its word, Bibi emphasized that he would not negotiate with them.

“Would you sit down and talk with al Qaeda? Of course not. Don, like the great man before him — George W. — is better than that. And so are we,” said Netanyahu in the interview. “And by the way, al Qaeda is one of the organizations funding these protesters. They’re paid by the people who say ‘death to America,’ and now they’re saying ‘death to Israel.’ Did you catch that? That’s another thing I learned from American politics — you say something that makes people scared, and you just keep talking about it. It’s nice isn’t it? Don loves it. He loves it when I do that.”

“They’re paid protesters” is another prominently featured component of Netanyahu’s performance art piece.

Declining housing to Palestinians, ignoring endemic water contamination in Gaza, where Israel has control over the water supply, and denying access to key facilities and resources like healthcare are other carefully incorporated elements of the work. Child labor and payment below minimum wage in settlement businesses, restriction of essential material shipments, curfews, and “administrative detention” are more major components of this elaborate show of love and emulation, which has truly struck the hearts and captured the attention of people all across the globe.

The collage reaffirms that Bibi and Donald are the hottest authoritarian couple in today’s global political scene, despite rumorings of Donald’s affair with democratic French President Emmanuel Macron. Others have suggested that perhaps the strong show of authoritarianism in the “reelection” of Donald’s ex, Russian President Vladimir Putin, would muddy the romantic waters for Donald and Bibi. But, Bibi’s Love Collage has The Fishwrapper staff convinced that the authoritarian power couple is stronger than ever.