BREAKING: Seattle “Smart Tunnel” Can’t Work Under These Conditions Either, OKAY??

Published: February 4. 2019
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Created by Kevin Gladwell, Courtesy of Engin_Akyut via Pixabay and Steve Morgan via Wikimedia Commons

Washington State Department of Transit (WSDOT) announced early Monday morning that they will be closing the Alaskan Way Viaduct replacement tunnel for an indefinite period due to snow.

The tunnel is one of the first “smart tunnels” in the world, designed to put out fires and flooding automatically, however, its engineers warn that it is still a Seattle tunnel at heart, so it comes with its limitations.

The Fishwrapper interviewed the tunnel Monday morning to better assess the situation.

“People call me a smart tunnel, but that kind of labeling really adds a lot of pressure,” the tunnel anxiously blurted. “I don’t really know what people expect from me here. I’m still a Seattleite, after all. I don’t know how the hell to deal with this cold slippery stuff falling from the sky. It’s my first day, and I’m already so sick of people’s unrealistic standards.”

Near the end of the interview, a King County Transit bus began a graceful sideways slide into the tunnel while a group of WSDOT workers formed a human chain to stop it.

The interview came to an abrupt stop after the tunnel began shaking uncontrollably, seemingly on the verge of tears.