Clarence Thomas Welcomes Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, Launching Supreme Boys’ Club

by ELIZABETH BERNBAUM
Published: October 12, 2018
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Created by Isabel Campisteguy, Courtesy of Zach Gibson, Steve Petteway, Win McNamee, and Jonathan Ernst

In an effort to welcome Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court and encourage greater collegial fraternizing and camaraderie on the bench, Justice Clarence Thomas launched the Supreme Court’s new social club, “The Supreme Boys.”

The club, comprised of Justices Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito, Neil Gorsuch, and Brett Kavanaugh, will host its first get-together at the “Governed Bodies,” strip club, located in basement of the West Wing of the White House.

While Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomayor, Elena Kagan, and Stephen Breyer weren’t permitted to attend the gathering, they were encouraged to visit the “Decoration Station Arts and Crafts Cafe” in the basement of the East Wing during boys’ club nights.

Justice Thomas has reportedly ordered four bottles of high-end scotch for the occasion, anticipating that he and Justices Alito, and Gorsuch would share one, and Kavanaugh would enjoy the other three. The Decoration Station does not have scotch, but Thomas did order a lot of cute stickers and neat sequins for the female and liberal male justices to play with.

The Club rules were upheld in a 4-3 majority decision, with Stephen Breyer abstaining, largely because he “appreciate[s] not being grouped with Clarence and Brett. I’d much prefer not to drink or really even exist with them, to be clear.”