Elizabeth Warren Attacks StubHub Ticket Fees as Part of Newly Launched Anti-Corporatism Campaign

Published: February 23, 2019
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In a recent interview with MSNBC, Roger Lau, campaign manager for Democratic Presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren, elaborated on a new component of Warren’s strategy for her 2020 presidential run. A longtime advocate for weakening corporate power in the United States, Warren now aims to take down online ticket exchange websites such as StubHub.

Warren’s decision to target these sites comes just weeks after a report by the Center for American Progress found that ticket fees have skyrocketed in recent years, leaving concert goers with less money to spend on essentials, like marijuana and band t-shirts.

Lau anticipates that Warren’s “Make America Chill Again” campaign will bring huge numbers of young millennials to the polls, and Warren seems to agree. “Look,” explained Warren at a rally at the University of Iowa on Sunday, Feb. 10, “if a working-class young person pays $100 of their hard-earned cash to go see Cardi B, that person shouldn’t be penalized an additional $20 just so the corporate fat cats can afford another dime bag of Colombian Snow. Believe me, the extra half g ain’t ever worth it.”

Cheers erupted from the crowd of student attendees when the impassioned presidential hopeful spoke from personal experience, underlining the importance of the issue to her and her family. “I remember following the Grateful Dead across the US as a senior in college and not once paying an additional ‘processing fee.’ Whatever happened to good ol’ grassroots rock and roll?”

In following with her new pledge to fight the “greedy pigs” in the music industry, Warren introduced new legislation to the Senate last Monday, eliminating processing fees from all online ticket purchases. She will face serious opposition by the Republicans in the Senate, but the new campaign strategy has already given her a boost in the polls. StubHub stocks have fallen dramatically as the market braces for a 35% decrease in revenue if the processing fees are in fact eliminated.

“Look, kids, I want to represent you at the highest level,” said Warren, closing out the rally. “Remember my slogan: ‘My name is Elizabeth Warren, can I hit your Suorin?’ Follow me on Instagram @PresidentElizabitch.”