Obama Stops to Pet Dog, Nation Forgets About Latest Trump Scandal

by CHARLOTTE HOUSTON
Published: April 8, 2018
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Created by Isabel Campisteguy, Courtesy of Mountain Home Airforce Base

Former president Barack Obama was photographed petting a dog on a street in a suburb of Chicago, IL last Wednesday. Within hours, the words “labradoodle” and “schnoodle” were trending on Twitter, as the photos incited controversy for dog-lovers everywhere trying to identify the breed.

White House sources reported that shortly after the story broke, aides were unable to coax current president Donald Trump to leave his place in front of the TV, where CNN had dedicated three hours of coverage to the story and the subsequent discussion of “Best Dog Breeds For Your Personality.” Trump was reportedly “trembling with rage.”

The aide also reports having to talk the president down from drafting a few dramatic executive orders, which she was not able to share with us, but that “he was hoping would be controversial enough get the attention back on him.”

With CNN and MSNBC fully occupied with pundits from the Chicago ASPCA, Fox News turned out to be the only outlet reporting on the bill being pushed through the Indiana legislature, requiring every woman who has an abortion to compose a funeral dirge for her unborn fetus.