Out-Of-Touch Man Still Waiting for Debut of Bono’s New Passion Project, “ME2”

by SOPHIE AANERUD
Published: January 26, 2019
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Created by Kevin Gladwell

Forty-two year old Stuart Holland of Sedro-Woolley, WA has launched an official complaint over Facebook regarding the delayed release of U2 frontman, Bono’s supposed solo project, “ME2.”

“He’s been talking about it for over a year now. Like, I remember people talking about the hashtag blowing up on The Twitter in like, 2017,” complained Holland. “Everyone was like, ‘It’s the Age of #ME2,’ and ‘It’s revolutionary.’ Everybody is on edge waiting for this thing — one of my coworkers was even wearing a pin with #ME2 on it once. Obviously, people want to hear Bono’s message. That’s why I’m totally behind the new hashtag: ‘#Time’sUp.’ Like, release it, Bono. Time’s up.”

Holland has been perplexed by certain elements of “ME2” — such as the supposed demographics of the fanbase — but maintains enthusiasm. “It seemed like the ladies were especially excited about the release for awhile there,” Holland mused. “I mean, I tend to think of U2 as a pretty masculine venture, but I don’t know, Bono is a bit of a sex beast. Like, what girl would ever say ‘no’ to that?”

When asked how he concluded that “ME2” is related to Bono, Holland sniffed, “I mean, U . . . ME . . . duh.”

Bono himself has declined to comment.