UW Student Frustrated by “Annoyingly Chill” RA

Published: May 27, 2020
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Over the past few months, there have been recent reports that one-sided tensions have been bubbling on the fourth floor of South McMahon. The primary source is freshman Owen McClair, who claims he is facing the “very real” problem of dealing with an “irritatingly understanding and helpful” resident advisor (RA) on his floor.

“When I came to UW, I was ready to fully embrace the life of a belligerent partier,” McClair reminisced. “Back in high school, the only ways I was really able to rebel was little stuff, like TPing the neighbors and not getting into Stanford like my dad wanted me to.”

However, McClair appears to have found his attempts to take his rebellious phase to the next level largely unsuccessful in the face of Levi Watkins, a senior and veteran RA. In the past, Watkins has been praised by residents for his acts of compassion, such as agreeing not to write up students for noise violations and even offering up his own lighter to hopeful stoners. In McClair’s eyes, however, Watkins’ goodwill presents a new challenge: how may one ‘rage against the man’ when there is no man to rage against?

“It’s just a total let down—not at all how I pictured my dorm experience,” McClair said. “First, my randomized roommate turns out to not be a total crackhead. Now, this.”

Many of McClair’s peers, however, seem to strongly disagree with his attitude toward Watkins, even implying that this has estranged McClair from his fellow clustermates.

“Oh my god, Owen? Fuck that guy; the dude’s a total narc,” stated McClair’s clustermate, Mark Edwin, when asked for comment. “A few weeks ago, me and some of the guys got drunk and tried breaking the common room chairs in half with our heads, but Levi totally let us off the hook. Owen tried to file a complaint against him after that. I swear to god he’s a plant from HFS.”

Author’s Update: Shortly after publishing, Watkins has reportedly received additional praise from McClair’s clustermates. He was lauded for his decision against taking disciplinary action after witnessing several of them hoisting McClair’s mattress over the edge of their cluster’s balcony.