UWCR Kicked Out of Shitty People Association (SPA) for Being “Too Shitty”

Published: May 25, 2019
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Created by Isabel Campisteguy, Courtesy of Pixabay and Pexels

In an insane self-burn early this May, the College Republicans of the University of Washington (UWCR) posted a screenshot of an official statement issued from the Washington College Republican Federation, which formally announced that the UWCR is not affiliated with the Federation and that they did not sanction the UWCR’s recent bake fale. The statement concluded with a condemnation of racism and bigotry.

Shortly after, the international Shitty People Association (SPA) released a similar statement formally cutting ties with the UWCR. In releasing the statement, Chair of the SPA and Distinguished Shitty Person Tomi Lahren remarked, “Some people just take it too far. Everything in moderation. Degrees of shittiness included.” The statement will stand out as a prominent point in the organization’s history; the landmark announcement was the first time the SPA has acknowledged radical shittiness associated with the actions of some of the its more fundamentalist members. In the past, the SPA has experienced severe censure for its silence by similar groups (notably by the Society of Douchebags [SD], the Allies for Institutional Protection of Actual Cucks [AIPAC], the Nation of Rude Anuses [NRA], the Group for Obvious Pricks [GOP], and Gamers in Study Spaces [GSS]), but following this statement, these groups applauded.

Many members of the SD in particular have been loudly supportive of the SPA’s statement. Swiper The Fox, from the children’s TV show that pretends to listen but never does, for instance has responded, “Ohhhh maaaaaaan -- we only mildly inconvenience people of color on my show. Hashtag not in my name.” Expressing similar sentiment, the roommate who used the last of the toilet paper but did not replace the roll has also remarked, “At least I flush most of my shit. I don’t stand in front of the HUB and spew.”

While the UWCR has not responded to any of these statements yet, an affiliated member has sent an unsolicited statement to The Fishwrapper, assuring us, “These people aren’t true SPA material. These are weak Shitty People and don’t support real protests that seek to solve real Shitty People Problems. True Shitty People love and support all of the good work that we at UWCR does.”